I Stopped listening to Hip Hop for 30 days… Here’s what Happened!

Music is a powerful tool that I can use to either devote or distract myself.

Let me come clean…the past few weeks haven’t totally been without music. There have been a few songs that I’ve listened to here and there. Each of those few select songs was a part of my prayer/praise/worship time and they were not distractions, but rather devotions. I still listened to quite a bit of pop music but it was hard just because I really wanted to listen to hip hop. It’s like if you ask for a burger and I give you a fish taco. The fish taco is fire but it ain’t what you wanted. Mind you Cardi B’s album dropped in this 30 days so I was struggling to NOT listen to it when it dropped. 

Then I realized that it was worse than I thought… It was like I was on a REAL fast! (claim spiritual credits) It was just as hard to stop as weed was (and that was rough). The worst was when I would hop in a Uber and they would be blastin K dot and I had to ask them to change the music. There was one time I waited till the second verse but I stayed strong! (side bar: the fact that I had this much of a struggle to not listen to this music really let me know that I had come to depend on it a source!)

Okay Okay so here’s what happened… I felt SO CLEAR like I could hear my own thoughts again and I could focus again. (If you’ve ever stopped eating carbs you know what I’m talking about) Just to give you some context of how serious this is I once asked for a review of my song “The Roof Is On Fire” and one reviewer said “It’s the first rap song I’ve heard in a while where I don’t feel like I’m dying!”. And that’s what I felt like, like I wasn’t dying. Music is an expression of the artist and many artist, myself included deal with depression and suicide. That music that we listen to has a lot of those expressions in it so it’s safe to say that it’s why I felt so distracted and depressed all the time (especially if I listen to Drake, always comparing himself to somebody). So imagine how I felt like NOT doing or dealing with that! My focus and clarity was crazy. 

Most of all my biggest fear came true. When I started listening to music again, it was hard to listen to listen everything so I had to switch to gluten free rap (edited version {i know, i know but I felt like I was listening to the anti #metoo movement and I got a daughter so….yeah}) So needless to say, I haven’t really just been listening to much hip hop any more. I never realized where all the things that I didn’t like about myself came from. The mistrust, the cheating on everyone I love… yeah I can pretty much track it back to a song that reinforced that mentality with each play. Imagine if I was violent… 

The decision is yours, I don’t recommend everyone try it for a month but try it for a week. Listen to the words of the songs after you come back to it…. Changes you.

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